With about a month to go until the Birkie it seems appropriate to dust off a few old gems from FakeFasterSkier and Johnny Klister.
It has been stated that, "the Birkie is what happens when you decide to do a lot of something really poorly." (Hopefully they remember to open the gate this year...)
Excerpts from the 1973 AD diary of the patron (and spiritual guide) of the Birkie - Saint Masterblastus:
1. "He who raceth the first kilometeric length in the most aggressive fashion shall be the victor."
2. "If though stompith thy neighbors pole into bits and pieces, eternal glory is assured."
3. "Should your waxations prove ineffective, 'tis always best to blameth their failings first, for surely it is their fault."
4. Toko kick wax has been fast exactly never.
I really wish FakeFasterSkier would start posting again.